Umbrella Rant

In my three years of living in New York City, I have come to a conclusion.  It is possibly the greatest city in the world, at least in the US, for just about everything.  But there are two exceptions:

1) Money - Everything is so expensive but, you deal with it if you want to live here.

and 2) RAIN - This one is less obvious but occurs to me every time the weather takes a turn for the wet, which it did during the last week.

Now, I realize rain is an important and helps things to grow... blah, blah, blah.  I grew up in a very rural area of Florida where most people got their income from some sort of agricultural job.  So, I realize rain's importance to the environment.

In New York City though, there is hardly any grass anywhere and the rain just seems to cause people to be more stupid than they already are.  Most of this stupidity comes in the form of one object... the umbrella.

In my opinion, an umbrella is about useless.  In a city like this, the tall buildings serve as a wind tunnel in bad weather.  Umbrellas only seem to act as something to give you problems, hit other people in the face and hardly ever keep you dry.

People apparently have no concept of how to think of others when it comes to using their umbrellas.  They barrel down the sidewalk as if they are the only people out picking off, glasses, hair and eyeballs as they go.  I'm not sure how many times I've walked down the street and been hit the face with someone's 'brella because they don't seem to know how to move it out of the way.  It's really not that hard, I swear.  Maybe I could teach a class on umbrella etiquette.  People teach classes for everything these days.  I bet I could make some money at it.

It's really not that hard.  When another person is coming toward you, simply raise or lower your 'brella to avoid hitting theirs.  If it's stopped raining, close it.  If you walk under scaffolding, close it.  If you can't seem to do any of these things because you're too self involved, move to a city where you can sit in your car and be in your own little world, cut off from everyone around you.  I wonder how much I could get for teaching these 4 simple steps?

Maybe I'm asking too much.  Who knows?  Sometimes I think that common courtesy has gone out the window.  Am I getting old?  Is that why things like this bother me?  I don't know.  I just know it's supposed to rain today and I have to put on my helmet.  I'll be counting the scratches on my face when I get home.

Until next time...

No Call Back...Hrrummph!

As an actor, one of the things we most look forward to during the audition process is the call back.  No, you haven't booked the job yet but, it's that positive response that shows you that the producer/director/casting assistant...WHOEVER thought that what you did during your initial audition was good enough to warrant a further look.  A kind of pat on the back.  It's when you don't get that small bit of recognition, when you think you should that, sometimes more than not booking the job, makes you wonder, "What the hell am I doing?"

The Yearly End of Layering!

Ok so, I've spent almost three years living in New York City and I still haven't gotten used to the cold weather.  I'm a Florida boy, you see.  Born and raised where t-shirts, shorts and flippies (TSF) are the norm.  I'm used to having a Christmas day with a high of 72 and rain clouds hovering.  A cold front, for us, means getting down to 50 for two days.

Audition season opens... let the games begin!

Well it's a new year and in the world of the average stage actor, it means the mad rush for auditions has begun.  This is the time of year when most theater companies are auditioning for their spring and summer productions.  It's also the time when most actors in New York get very comfortable at places like the Equity building and Ripley-Grier.  Some will do everything they can to get to, sometimes FIVE auditions in one day.  No, that was not a typo.  I've known one friend who actually did EIGHT in one day.  I, myself, am not one of those people.  I can do maybe two a day but, that's the limit.  These things can be stressful enough.  Why would I want to add running through streets into the mix?

Pounding the Pavement

  

     Auditioning sucks!  Most actors know this but, also know it's a necessary evil.  If we want the jobs, we have to audition for them.  It's hard to like anything when your future employment hinges on 16 bars of a traditional theater song.  But the other day, I was back at the Equity building singing for another company.