Most of us have to have them... jobs. How else are we going to pay our bills and rent/mortgages? But, sometimes it's like you're trapped and can't get away from it. You're making the money that you need to pay those bills but, the atmosphere is made to where you're dreading it every time you have to go in. I'm dealing with this very thing.
Let me give you a little background... I've been working in the same place for a little over 2 1/2 years. When I first started there, it was truly the sort of place you would want to work. Everyone had a good time and wanted to be there. You looked forward to going to work because it was a place to hang out with your friends, make your money, and had a laid back vibe.
This being New York City, the majority of people who work in places like mine are going to be actors and students. They need that flexibility in their schedules to go to classes, auditions and other jobs. The management understood that and it was no problem.
But, something happened along the way. As the place became more of a money making business it decided to make itself more "corporate". Management changed hands a couple of times. The flexibility that we once had that allowed us to pursue our degrees and careers practically vanished. And any sense of enjoyment for working at the place, totally evaporated. Now, they want full availability and any dispute to the scheduling is met with a response of, "This is your job, if you don't like it, there's the door." It's not a very helpful atmosphere.
Then, there's the flip side. We DO make good money and we DO have bills to pay. But, that's it. There's no more to the pro side than that.
I still genuinely like my fellow associates but, the feeling of camaraderie that we used to have is no longer there. It's a very rare occasion that we will want to go out with each other after work. We see each other at work but, after it's over, we go our separate ways. In some ways maybe that's what makes me so unhappy. The place has changed and I keep waiting for it to go back to the way is was.
So, what do I do? Suck it up and deal with it? I'm making money and I have a job. Or do I quit and try to find something else? I could live without a job for a couple of months. Luckily, I've been saving for the past year. But, there's also the fear that I won't find anything else. I guess this is a matter of "fear or faith". Do I let fear of a crappy economy hold me at a job I hate? Or do I have faith that I'll be ok no matter what happens? Ugh!! I hate making decisions like this! Oh well... rant over... today.
Until next time...
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